Mama Mila is gone
About two years ago, I was strolling along the Lycian path in Faralya, Turkey in flip flops and a beach dress, collecting sage. The scent of this herb, the mountain backdrop, the incredibly bright sea, the sound of the waves. Everything echoed in my cells. Quiet happiness pulsed in my soul.
Because at that moment I realized: This is luxury for me. To live like this. To be like this. And yes-
I don't have to build up a lot of savings to make this life possible for myself. I can just set off and the path will become clear as I go. That became a new certainty at that moment.
As I said, that was two years ago! Now I'm sitting on a woven wooden sofa in the Peacock Ayur Veda Garden in Sri Lanka. The rain is slowly calming down. A few moments ago I experienced a tropical thunderstorm. Gods of lightning and thunder. It has penetrated to the marrow and bones and tolerates only reverence .
Between Turkey and Sri Lanka there were two years of inner alignment and preparation. Inner alignment on self-realization and taking good care of myself. When it became clear that my daughter would say "goodbye" to me and our home at the end of 2023, I got the idea to travel myself and find out where I wanted to be more than Germany. For years I have been crying when I have to say "goodbye" to the sea again and think that I have to wait another whole year to be allowed to see the sea again. That was about to change. In short, my boss was informed that the time with me in the mykie practice would finally come. I completed the training to become a Couple Care Coach so that I could work from anywhere, I moved out with my daughter, we cleared out our household, I "quickly worked through a few trauma issues" (a big topic in itself!), looked for substitute teachers for my beloved yogis and yoginis and finally I didn't have a single key anymore. My bond was empty! That suddenly felt frightening.
Asia is foreign territory for me. I have been here for about three weeks now and after a smooth journey I landed in Galle very exhausted. The heat that I had otherwise longed for so much threatened me like an unfamiliar danger. Locked in a steam sauna. Indika from the "Indika Beach House" welcomed me very warmly and I experienced a fabulously deep sleep in my first bed. Already on the first morning when the heat began to boil, I regretted having packed so many things and especially clothes. All ballast that I now have to move! As I trudged downstairs, the first surprise awaited me:
In the evening, Indika had carefully dug out the hatching sea turtles from the sand and left a dozen in the water tub for me. Now it was my turn to release the "little toads" into the ocean.
That was the first introduction to the deep feeling of connection with the animal world here in Sri Lanka. In my second accommodation at "Bara Beach" the chipmunk actually took hold of my coconut and then took a bite out of mine! ;)
Humans and animals live in close connection with one another. It is so natural to hear a monkey jumping onto the yoga roof or to see a snake slithering through the garden or to see the "baby iguana" happily digging around in the ground for insects that fears of the unknown quickly fade into the background. Although I must admit: the wild monkeys are pretty scary. A member of staff at the resort rescued a baby monkey whose mother was attacked and killed by other monkeys. At the moment they are being chased away from the mango trees with loud bangs because the fruity gold hangs there ready to be eaten. And the little baby monkey survived and will now live in the retreat. Her name is Mimi and she is wild and addicted to play! How well you can tell from her movements that our minds are so similar to monkeys. Not a moment's peace, constantly weighing things up, changing your mind, coming back, aborting.
For 7 days I brought Mimi a mango as a gentle gift to show her that I was okay. Yesterday she jumped on me for the first time when we were out and about. Uiiiihhh! Those paws are really soft and she gives you really tender love bites with her little teeth. This morning I approached her cage. Usually she was really wild and only took the mango when I had taken several steps away - today she came to me at the bars and I was able to stroke her. Very gently and reeeeally slowly. That put her into an unexpected calm. The rabid little monkey sat there quietly and reverently and didn't move anymore! That touched me!
It's the same with us humans: as long as fear, uncertainty and irritation are present, no contact and therefore no connection can develop between two people. The first thing we can always look at is: What do I need to feel safe? What can I do myself? What can I ask the other person to do? To do this, you first have to be able to feel this "need" and have the courage to share what you feel.
And sometimes it's just time that gives you security. Like with Mimi! With her restless romping around, she made it clear to me that she wasn't sure whether I could be trusted. And after a few days of constant feeding with mangos and our encounters when she was let out of the cage and interacted with people she knew (and I was passively present), she remembered me feeding her and suddenly, out of nowhere, she just jumped on me!!!:)
Another patient said that Mimi could sense my harmony. I'll leave that open. At the moment I feel anything but harmonious, more in survival mode and battling with my inner demons and beliefs, which are probably also being made hell by the detoxification.
There are still a few days left to spend here. Of course I will let you know how and where we go next!
Until then
Practice connecting with yourself - every day ask yourself for a moment: Am I connected with myself? Am I paying attention to my needs? Or am I ignoring myself?
Look at yourself with kindness and find out what you can do in this moment to connect with yourself a little more deeply.
(You can also learn this during a coaching session with me using the Couple Care method . If you are curious, please book an initial consultation with me from June and we can see what you need most for your happiness in love!)
From the heart
Your Jamila
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